Eyes Forward
Picture the scene - a parent is teaching a teenage child to drive. They've discussed all of the basics in detail and are now ready to practice on the road with other cars, pedestrians crossing at intersections and all kinds of potential distractions. As they get into the car, the parent coaches the child to check her mirrors and seat position to ensure that she is set up for success before she moves the car. With the parent's coaching, the young driver merges into traffic and is moving with the flow of traffic fairly well except the parent notices that the driver is constantly looking in the rear view mirror. Obviously, it's important to be aware of your surroundings so glancing in the side mirrors and the rear view mirror is appropriate while driving. The problem is that this new driver is focusing on the rear view mirror and what's behind her so much that she is not seeing what is right in front of her. As a result, she may miss seeing the road onto which she needs to turn or she may hit someone ahead of her.
Your life is a journey. The choices you've made – think of them as the roads you've taken - have brought you to where you currently are. Imagine your dream car and picture yourself in the driver’s seat. As you drive your dream car and navigate this journey called life, how much time do you spend looking in the rear view mirror?
You can’t successfully move forward while staring in the rear view mirror at what’s behind you – your past.
Here’s an important “rule of the road”: You can’t successfully move forward while staring in the rear view mirror at what’s behind you – your past. It is impossible to simultaneously think about the past and BE in the present. In order to be – to exist – in the present, you must let go of the past.
So, how do you do that? You become aware – practice noticing when your mind is drifting to something that happened in the past and then change your focus from the rear view mirror to whatever you are doing in the moment and be present. For instance, if you are talking on the phone, grab a pen and paper and take notes of what the other person is saying. If you are talking to someone face-to-face, focus on listening, asking questions and commenting as appropriate.
If you are trying to focus and something or someone from the past keeps popping up in your head, visualize a stop sign and say to yourself or even out loud, "STOP!" The key is to become aware that you are looking in your rear view mirror. It's okay to glance back and see how far you've come but if you stare too long you'll miss what's right in front of you.
Remember living happens in the present.
Each day consists of 1,440 minutes. As you navigate the day, ask yourself, “Am I present with my eyes looking forward committed to creating the future or am I using my time today to look back at something that is in the past?”
It’s your life so, as always, the choice is yours.